funny but realistic.....isn't it?

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

 

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

 

DIVORCE:
Future Tense of Marriage

 

LECTURE:
An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

 

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

 

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

 

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!

 

DICTIONARY:
A place where divorce comes before marriage

 

CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

 

ECSTASY:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

 

CLASSIC:
A book which people praise, but never read

 

SMILE:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

 

OFFICE:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

 

YAWN:
The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

 

ETC:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do

 

COMMITTEE:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

 

EXPERIENCE:
The name men give to their Mistakes

 

ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions

 

PHILOSOPHER:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead

 

DIPLOMAT:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

 

OPPORTUNIST:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river

 

OPTIMIST:
A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

 

PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY

 

MISER:
A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

 

FATHER:
A banker provided by nature

 

CRIMINAL:
A guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught

 

BOSS:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

 

POLITICIAN:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later

 

DOCTOR:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you