ha...ha...ha...

When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup of the day, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.

"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"

"It's bean soup," she replied.

"I don't care what it's been," he replied. "What is it now?"

 

 

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We Haven't Had Any"

 

A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."

 

Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."

 

The manager then drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way.

 

"Now, what was it she wanted?"

 

The clerk answered, "Snow."

 

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A man found a magic genie who would grant him one wish. The man said to the genie,” I wish that I had a non-stop bridge from here to Hawaii."

 

The genie said,” I’m sorry, but that's going to be very hard. Do you have another wish?"

 

 The man answered, "Of course! I want the power to understand all women."

 

The genie thought for a minute. He replied, "How many platforms did you want on that bridge?"