good jokes

 

 

 

 

 

 

Police arrested a drunkard & askd: Where r u going? Man: I'm going 2 listen lecture on ill effects of drinking. Cop: Who'll lecture at midnight ? Man: My wife... ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand? Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony? ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Q: Why do women live longer than men? A: Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Wats the diff between Complete & Finished? If you find good wife u r complete otherwise u r finished. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we chose Marriage, slow and sure! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Have u heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He's now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Two men r talking. 1st: I got married coz I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry & wearing shabby clothes. 2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me? Husband: I won't have to pay you, you'll get my entire insurance amount.