Two Government employees were working on the road. To my surprise, I found that the first employee dug pits for 2 feet with an interval of every 10 feet. The second employee was coming behind him and filling up the pits.
I called one of them and asked why.
He said that on that particular day, one of the employees was on leave and his duty was to keep a small plant on every pit after the first employee dug the pits.
Once president BUSH went to a school. After have a brief talk with the children he asked them if they had any questions to ask him.
One boy raised his hand and stood up.
Bush: whats your name
John: john
Bush: whats your question
John: sir I have three questions
1) why did
2) where is Osama
3) why do
Bush: you are an intelligent student john..(just then the bell for recess rang).
oh dear students we will continue after the recess is over.
After the recess
Bush: ok children where were we? Yes, so anybody wants to ask any question?
Peter raises his hand
Bush :Whats your name?
Peter : Peter
Peter : sir I have 5 questions.
1) why did
2) where is osama
3) why do
4) why did recess bell rang 20 mins before the scheduled time
5) where is JOHN?
| At first, it was Alibaba & 40 Thieves
| |
1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can
find such a man.
2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.
4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she
won’t change, and she does.
5. There are two times when a man doesn’t understand a woman- before and after marriage.
6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets
a wife.
7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you
must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of
romance.
Honestly, we will have these answers in our mind … but we give different, tailored and suitable answers to the
guy !
1. Why did you apply for this job?
Ans: I have applied for many jobs along with this and you called me now.
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
Ans: I have to work for some company who ever gives me a job, I don’t have any specific company in mind.
3. Why should I hire you?
Ans: You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.
4. What would you do if this happened?
Ans: Well, it depends my mindset and mood at that situation…
5. What is your biggest strength?
Ans: Basically, daring to join any company who pays me well, without thinking of the fate of company
6.What is your biggest weakness?
Ans: Girls
7. What was your worst mistake, and how did you learn from it?
Ans: Joining my earlier company and learnt that I need to jump to get more money, so I am here today
8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Ans: Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and
stay there.
9. Describe a challenge you faced and how you overcame it?
Ans: Biggest challenge is answering the question “why are you looking for a change” and I started blabbering
irrelevantly to overcome that.
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
Ans: For the same reason why you left your earlier job
11. What do you want from this job?
Ans: If no work is given but keep giving good hikes
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Ans: Make more money and for that keep jumping companies for every 2 yrs
13. Did you hear of our company and what do you know of us?
Ans: Yeah, I know that you will ask this, I’ve gone through your website
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
A fat Officer went to a consultancy for reducing his weight. He was asked to go to a room with an advice that if he could chase a young beautiful girl and touch her, he could marry her.
Everyday, he tried to chase and touch her. After 30 days, he reduced his weight considerably. On 31st day, he came with a determination to catch hold of her.
But to his surprise, he was asked to go to another room. This time, they said that another fat lady would chase him and if she touches him, she will marry him. This time, he had to run all the more...
I went to my friend's house. He was trying to find out the height of a pole. He placed the pole on a wall and went up the nearby ladder with an inch tape to ascertain the height.
I told him "You could have kept the pole on the ground and found out the length"
He replied, "Don't talk like an idiot. I want to find out the height and not the length!"
Suno Mister,Bhai,Bandhu,Shrimaan
Ek Machine dekhi computer hai jis ka naam
Karti hai aapka mahinaon ka minitaon mein kaam
Lagti hai badi dilruba aur istamal bada aasaan
Magar poochiye haqeeqat un se jo karte hain is ka program
Lage hai aapko bahar se jo kaam bada aasaan
Uljhe rahte hain suljhane mein pahelian is ki subah shaam
Ho jata hai nazar isi ki in ka sukh,chain-o-araam
Maalik* yad rakhiyo, kaam nahin ye har kisi ka khaas-o-aam
Chuninda hain woh log jo phodte hain sar apna is bala computer ke Naam
A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in the morning.” I’m not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?" "No, get lost. It's half past three and I was in bed," says the man as he slams the door. He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife.” He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere,
He shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."
