???why???

You know why women starts with ‘W’…

because all questions start with “W”.. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

 

 

Wanted A Wife

A news paper had a humour page with following matrimonials published
in it.

BANKER: Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her
service.

CAR MECHANIC: Wanted a sturdy wife. Should be in working condition.
Should be above average and must run the household at a good average.

DOCTOR: Recently a love-bug injected in me a strange bacteria, making
me desirous of marriage. I'm looking for a girl who is patient and has
knowledge of all ills and pills, is religious minded and keeps away
from all sins be it anasin, metasin or crosin. I promise to be a good
doctor with no side effects. Apply or reply.

DRUNKER: Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a soda
factory. I am an occasional alchoholic who drinks only when friends
come home. Friends come home only seven times a week. Girl preffered
will carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally or send soda for
trial. Sample should be ample.

LAWYER: I hereby beg to solicit myself as an eligible candidate for
the post of husband after marriage. The person whom I'm looking for
should be strictly a girl. The girl should be strictly a girl. The
girl should be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction of
My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objection would be overruled and will not be
sustained. Apply in confidence and if you have the confidence.

SOFTWARE ENGINEER: Wanted a Girl with a Lovely Look & Feel, Good GUI
with Security features (privileges only for the Specific User
especially critical Functionalities).

There must not be any Critical or Medium Bug in her.

LowBugs can be deferred But needs to B fixed by the Next Build. She
Must not be PLATFORM INDEPENDENT, USER FRIENDLY. We are ready to Test
the Application & CERTIFY the product but we will assure it will never
be released to ANY OTHER Customer.

A different Love letter and a beautiful reply to it

A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in
Question/Ans format) to his classmate.

My Dearest Rita,

Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(a)10 marks, (b)
5marks and (c) 3 marks.
1) Whenever you enter the class room, your sight
always falls on me
because:
(a) of love
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke, you laugh and turn
and look at me
because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile

3) When you were singing in the class, I entered and
immediately you
stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song

4) When you were showing your child photo, when I
asked for it, you hide
it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know

5) During trekking, myself and my friend gave you hand
for lifting you and
you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know

6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get
into y our bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the
bus
(c) that bus was crowded

7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to
college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think
about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them

8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day,
you came with a rose
on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose

9) On that day, it was my birthday. you too came to
temple early at 6:00
AM because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on
my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are
spiritual
If you have scored mor e than 40, then you are loving
me. Don't delay in
expressing it. If you have scored between 30 and 40,
love is budding in
your heart and it's getting ready to bloom. If you
have scored less than
30, you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly aw aiting your reply..

love,
Deepak

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Rita's reply letter was also in Q/A format........
Deepak,
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row, normally people
entering the class,
sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No

2) If a girl laughs and looks at anyone, is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No

3) While singing, if somebody forgets lines of the
songs, will he/she stop
singing or not ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

4) I was showing my friends (who are all girls) my
childhood photo. You
poked your nose in between..... right ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking.
Couldn't you understand
yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No

6) Should I not wait for my best friend ( Anjali) at
the bus stand?
(a) Yes
(b) No

7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a
friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No

8) You have said you also like Lotus, cauliflower,
banana flower. Is it
true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see
you in temple. I come
daily to Temple. Do you know ?
(a) Yes
(b) No

If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question,
then I am not loving
you.
If you have answered "No", then you don't know the
meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you.

Rita

 

 

can't wait

A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.

The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid.

The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

 

 

it feels like

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up!

Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

 

Professional Thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Most irritating moment:
Morning Alarms,L

2. Most difficult task:(For Boys)
To find socks,L

3. Most dreadful journey:
Way to office,L

4. Most lovely time:
Meeting friends,J

5. Most tragic news:
Suddenly boss or TL calls in office,L

6. Most wonderful news:
Boss is absent Yahooooo!,J

7. Most funny moment:
Boss cracks a joke & nobody laughs,L

8. Most happy moment:
Salary in hand. J

 

Definition of Kiss

Kiss is that thing for which the demand is always higher than the supply.

Kiss is a credit because it is profitable when returned.

Kiss is infinity because two divided by nothing

Kiss is the shortest distance between two lips

Kiss is the contraction of mouth due to the expansion of the heart.

Kiss is the reaction of the interaction between two hearts.

Kiss is the interchange of salivary bacteria

Kiss is the juxtaposition of two orbicularisoris muscles in the state of contraction.

Kiss is infectious and antiseptic.

Kiss is an event whose probability depends on the vital statistics of 36-24-36.

Kiss is the persecution for the child, ecstasy for the youth and homage for the old.

Kiss is a noun that is used as a conjunction; it is more common than proper; it is spoken in the plural and it is applicable to all.

Kiss is a process which builds a solid bond between the two dynamic objects.

What is a kiss? It seems to be an undefined variable.

 

 

Pathan names born in different situations

Born in Jungle ..........Sher Khan

Born in summer ------- Sharbat Khan

Born during war ------- Barood Khan 

Born near ocean ------- Samunder Khan

Born with abnormal features ------- Ajab Khan 

Born premature ------- Masti Khan 

Born near garden ------- Gul Khan 

Born in anger ------- Ghazab Khan 

Born in horror ------- Haibat Khan

Born funny ------- Nadia Khan

Born After Suicide Bom ------- Bhadur Khan

Born with talent but no brain ------- Shahid Khan Afridi

Born with Proud of Pakistan---- ---- Abdul Qadir Khan

Born in Pervaiz Musharaf Government ------ Bardasht 

 

 

good news and bad news

The doctor at a regional hospital tells his patient, "I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like to hear first?"

The patient asks for the bad news first. "I have the results of your examination of your injuries to both your feet and we're going to have to amputate right away."

"That's the bad news? How could there be good news?"

"See that man in the lobby? The seedy-looking fellow?"

"Yeah," says the patient. "What about him?"

The doctor looks at the patient with a grin, "He wants to buy your shoes!

 

 

in the court

Lawyer: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for

a pulse?

A: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Lawyer: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Lawyer: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the autopsy?

A: No.

Lawyer: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Lawyer: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.