How guys select the girl they want to marry
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.
He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
(scroll down for the answer)
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He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
e-books for us
Saturday, June 28, 2008
How guys select the girl they want to marry:
Thursday, June 26, 2008
fancy love letter
My dear FAIR and LOVELY (ek chand ka tukda) , after WIPRO (Applying Thought) so much, I dare to say that you are my TVS SCOOTY (First love) and my AIWA (Pure passion). I always BPL (Believe in the best) and you are SANSUI (Better than the best). You are DOMINO'S PIZZA (Delivering a million smiles) for me. This is a COLGATE ENERGY GEL (Seriously fresh) feeling for me. I want you to be my life partner but I think you are worried about your father who is KAWASAKI BAJAJ CALIBER (The Unshakable) and my father who is CEAT (Born Tough) but don't worry as I am also FORD ICON (The Josh Machine) and rest of our family members are KELVINATORS (The Coolest ones). If they say no, we will run away and marry and PHILIPS (Let's Make Things Better). They will feel MIRINDA (Zor ka jhatka dhire se lage) but I believe in COCA COLA (Jo chahe ho jaye) . For our marriage SAMSUNG DIGITALL (Everyone's Invited) and after marriage we'll be WHIRLPOOL (U and ME - The World's best homemakers) Trust in God who's always NOKIA (Connecting people) who love each other. And we are WILLS ( Made for each other). Now that HYUNDAI (we are listening) the song of love, you must know that love is DAIRY MILK (Real taste of life), SATYAM ONLINE (Fun, Fast, Easy) and PARX (Always Comfortable). So never forget me. Ok bye!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sardarji jokes collection....3
HOW LONG
Sardarji calls Air
fly to
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
*************
EMPLOYMENT..
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a
job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column
"Salary Expected" :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes
*************
A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"
The clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask."
The sardar then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds, "It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos.
His sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"
He said, "It's a thermos flask."
The boss then says, "What does it do?"
He replies, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"
The sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
*************
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai "
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What will a Sardarji do after taking photocopies ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling mistakes !!
*************
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters. They were planning for free
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from
That was a difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh plied,
"No problem! we'll attack
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.
The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER
*************
Sardar went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs," he replied.
He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned to tell the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.
"Damn, he recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before he again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.
*************
What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper ?
(he already has one and he wants one more..)
He takes a photcopy of the white paper !!!
*************
Sardar dukhi tha
Sardar: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgry k liye 3 lakh diye tahe AB main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon.
*************
INDIAN vs. AMERICAN
An Indian is having his breakfast (coffee, croissants, bread, butter and jam) when an American man, chewing gum, sits down next to him.
The Indian ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
American: "You Indians eat the whole bread?"
Indian (coolly): "Of course."
American: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. In
has a smirk on his face.
The Indian munches on.. gives a cold look but did not reply.
The American refuses to take the cue and persists: "Do you eat jelly with the bread??"
Indian: "Of Course."
American: (cracking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. In
The Indian puts his coffee mug down. Looks straight in the American's eye and then asks: "Do you have sex in
American: "Why of course we do", the American says with a big smirk.
Indian: "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
American: "We throw them away, of course.."
Indian: "We don't. In
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Lawyer vs. Deputy,,,,,,,,,,,,
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He
thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from
He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the
Deputy's expense.
The Deputy says,"License and registration, please.
The Lawyer says, "What for?"
The Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.
The Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming.
The Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and
registration, please.
The Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
The Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!"
The Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give
me the ticket If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.
The Deputy says, "Sounds fair. Exit your vehicle, sir.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating
the crap out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just
slow down?"
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Gavaskar - A Brilliant Movie
Pichle saal ki baat hai..
There was a movie released called 'GAVASKAR' in
Apna Sunil Gavaskar felt very proud about it.
He went personally to watch the movie and check out
how his image was portrayed in the movie. The Movie started...
Gavaskar patiently watched it till interval but found no clue of
himself in it...
Then Gavaskar thought the main character sometimes
make an entry after the interval but again to his disappointment, there
was not even a single fact that he could relate himself to...
Gavaskar got wild and he decided to sue the movie
producers & directors.
He asked 'U made the movie named Gavaskar but u
haven't mentioned a single thing about me. Why did you do so??
Then he got a reply and after hearing that he got
silent and came back Home in
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guess wht was the reply he got ???
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guess..
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'You people also made a super hit movie named BORDER.
Do you by any chance recall anything or any fact that was mentioned about ALLAN BORDER ?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
proud to be an Indian
An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.
So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to
On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read "$10,000 per call".
The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.
The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.
The American thanked the priest and went along his way.
Next stop was in
cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.
H e wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in
She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.
"O.K., thank you," said the American.
He then traveled to
In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same "$10,000 per call" sign under it.
The American, upon leaving
He arrived in
The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. "Father, I've traveled all over World and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but everywhere the price was $10,000 per call.
Why is it so cheap here?"
The priest smiled and answered, "You're in India," the God's own country", now, son - it's a local call".
KEEP SMILING
proud to be an Indian
Men always have better friends....
Men always have better friends....
They will stand by you, no matter what....!!!
Here's an example:
Friends of Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So she tells her husband the very next morning, that she stayed at her (girl) friend's apartment overnight. So the husband calls 10 of her best (girl) friends and none of them confirmed that she was with them
Friends of Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the wife calls 10 of his best friends and 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night and another 5 claimed that he is still with them!!
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
This is a story of a young college girl who
passed away last month
in
truck.
She is working in a call centre. She has a boy friend
named Shankar .
Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on the
phone.You can
never see her without her handphone. In fact she
also changed her phone
from Airtel to Hutch, so both of them can be on the
same network, and save on the cost.
She spends half of the day talking with shankar .
Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar
is very close with Priya's family. (just imagine their
love) . Before she passed away shealways told her
friends "If I pass away please burn me with my
handphone" she also said the same thing to her
parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, I was
there. A lot of
them tried to do so but still cant , everybody
including me, had tried to carry the body, the result
is still the same. Eventually, they called a person
who know to one of their neighbours, who can speak
with the soul of dead person, who is a friend of her
father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself
slowly.
After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses
something here." Then her
friends told that person about her intentions to burn
her with her phone..
He then opened the grave box and place her phone and
sim card inside the
casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It
could be moved and
they carried it into the van easily.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform
Shankar that
Priya had passed away.
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :...."Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook
something nice for me.
Dont tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna
surprise her."
Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna
tell you
something very important."
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya.
Shankar thinks
that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and
said "dont try to
fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for
her. Please stop
this nonsense".
Then they show him the original death certificate to
him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar
started to sweat) He
said... "Its not true. We spoke yesterday. She still
calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. "see this is from
Priya, see this...."
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them
told him to
answer. he talked using the loudspeaker mode.
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming.
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way
others could use her
sim card since it is nailed.
Inside the grave box they were so shocked and asked
for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal perosns) help
again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked
them...
Hutch has the best coverage.
Where ever you go, our network follows!!!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Conversation between a software engineer and his wife
Husband: Hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife: Would you like to have some snacks?
Husband: hard disk full.
Wife: Have you brought the saree.
Husband: Bad command or file name.
Wife: But I told you about it in morning
Husband: Erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife: Hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband: File in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife: At least give me your credit card, i can do some shopping.
Husband: Sharing violation, access denied.
Wife: I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband: data type mismatch.
Wife: You are useless.
Husband: by default.
Wife: What is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband: the only user with write permission.
Wife: What is my value in your life?
Husband: Unknown virus detected.
Wife: Do you love me or your computer?
Husband: Too many parameters.
Wife: I will go to my dad?s house.
Husband: program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife: I will leave you forever.
Husband: close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife: It is worthless talking to you.
Husband: shut down the computer.
Wife: I am going
Husband: Its now safe to turn off your computer
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Telangana rhymes
ENGLISH >>>> TELUGU (Telangana Dialect)
Twinkle Twinkle little star >>>> Merishe merishe oo chinna sukka
how I wonder what you are >>>>Naku samaj aitale neev endo
up above the world so high >>>> Bhoomi kelli anta paina
like a diamond in the sky >>>>akashamla vajram leka unav le
Jack and Jill went up a hill >>>> Jacku gadu Jillu gadu konda meediki poinru
to fetch a pail of water >>>> Kundala neelu teenike
Jack fell down and broke his crown >>>> Jack gadu kindavadi bok kal suram param cheskundu
And Jill came tumbling after. >>>> jillu gadu guda vani enakala vadi dorlukunta ochindu
Ringa Ringa roses >>>> Gol Gol tirige Gulab poolu
Pocket full of posses >>>> Jeb ninda posslu
Asha Busha all fall down >>>> Arre!!!! andar kinda vaddar le
Johny Johny,yes papa, >>>> Johnyga johnyga, endi naina
eating sugar no papa >>>> shakkar bukkuthunnavaa, ledu naina
telling lies no papa >>>> Joota cheptunav le, ledu naina
Open your mouth >>>> Jaranta nor teruv
hahahaha >>>> tersina soosko naina hahaahahah
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Girls Vs Boys @ ATM
Girls please don't mind...
Boys please don't laugh...
How a BOY withdraws cash from ATM.
1. Park the car
2. Go to ATM Machine
3. Insert card
4. Enter PIN
5. Take money out
6. Take ATM Card out
7. Drive away
How a GIRL withdraws cash from ATM
1. Park the car
2. Check makeup
3. Turn off engine
4. Check makeup
5. Go to ATM
6. Hunt for ATM card in the purse
7. Insert card
8. Hit Cancel
9. Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it
10. Insert card
11. Enter PIN
12. Take cash
13. Go to car
14. Check makeup
15. Start car
16. Stop car
17. Run back to ATM
18. Take ATM card
19. Back to car
20. Check makeup
21. Start car
22. Check makeup
23. Drive for 1/2 mile
24. Release handbrake
25. Drive on....!!
“How funny it is”
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
opener
Harbhajan ask's Kumble to bring a Pepsi... Kumble brings a bottle of Pepsi but goes directly to Shehwag.? Why ?? Why ?? 
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Ans:- Shehwag is an opener
Saturday, June 7, 2008
HR Manager love latter to his lover
Dearest Ms so and so,
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
HR Manager
Thursday, June 5, 2008
A cocky ministry
A cocky Ministry of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road.'
The old farmer said 'OK, but don't go in that field.'
The Highways employee said, 'I have the authority of the Provincial Government to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land.'
So the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Ministry of Highways Employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the Employee at every step.
The Old farmer called out, 'Show him your card!!'
Munna Bhai ka Matrimonial Advertisement
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Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife
To; Tech. Support,
Subject : Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I can not to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n'Drunk 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,but the UN-install does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error "General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Uninstallation will abort." Can you help me, please!!!
-XYZ, Software Engineer
**********
Reply from Tech. Support
Dear Software Engineer,
Ref : Upgrade from a girlfriend to a wife This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from girlfriend 7.0 to Wife1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to UN-install, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support" which was given to you at the time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.
In fact I would suggest u to use this command everytime Wife 1.0 crashes on your system.Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5 which will improve the performance of Wife 1.0. do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system. Recent Survey says that Add-On softwares like Visual Saree 2.0, Diamond Necklace3.0, A Quick Tour To Temple 1.0 are the best Third Party tools that supports Wife1.0 program to run smoothly and effectively. Best of luck.
Tech Support.
