jokes

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! 

A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God

 

 

 

************                 

 

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

 

 

 

************             

 

 

The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases leaving the plant, and approached his new packer. He put his arm around the man’s shoulder and said,
“Well, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, ‘This Side Up,
Handle With Care.’”
“Yes sir,” the worker replied. “And just to make sure, I stamped it on the bottom too.”

 

 

************                           

 

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

 She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds,

Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny? "No, ma'am

 

 

************                  

 

 What did the kangaroo say when he found that his baby was missing?

 I've been pick-pocketed!

 

************       

 

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. “Our flag symbolizes our taxes,” the man said. “We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.” “That’s the same with us, the American said, “only we see stars, too.”

 

************           

 

 

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

 

************             

 

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?"

"No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"

 He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."

 The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned."

 The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"

 At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a muffled voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

 

 

************             

 

 

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"

"That’s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"

The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!

 

 

 

 

A boy and a girl

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep coma. 

Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. 

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." 

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother -- he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" 

"Denise," the doctor says. 

The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" 

The doctor replies, DeNephew.

two wishes

> > A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
> >
> > The waitress asks them for their orders.
> >
> > The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich,
> > "What's yours?"   "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.
> >
> > A short time later the waitress returns with the order " That will be  $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his
> pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment. > >

> > The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A  hamburger, fries and a coke."
> > The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."
> >
> > Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
> >
> > This becomes routine until the two enter again.
> "The usual?" asks the  waitress.  "No, this is Friday night, so I will  have a steak, baked  potato and a salad," says the man.   "Same,"
> says the ostrich.
> > Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."  Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket
> and places it on the table.
> >
> > The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir.
> > How  do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"
> >
> > "Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared
> and offered me two wishes.
> >
> > My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just
> > put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."
> >
> > "That's brilliant!" says the waitress.
> "Most people would ask for a  million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
> > for as long as you live!"
> > "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.
> >
> > The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"  The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick
> with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say."

HOW TO MAKE HAPPY

To make a woman happy..... A man only needs to be:
1. A friend
2. A companion
3. A lover
4. A brother
5. A father
6. A master
7. A chef
8. An electrician
9. A carpenter
10. A plumber
11. A mechanic
12. A decorator
13. A stylist
16. A psychologist
17. A pest exterminator
18. A psychiatrist
19. A healer
20. A good listener
21. An organizer
22. A good father
23. Very clean
24. Sympathetic
25. Athletic
26. Warm
27. Attentive
28. Gallant
29. Intelligent
30. Funny
31. Creative
32. Tender
33. Strong
34. Understanding
35. Tolerant
36. Prudent
37. Ambitious
38. Capable
39. Courageous
40. Determined
41. True
42. Dependable
43. Passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. Give her compliments regularly
45. Love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. Not stress her out
49. Not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. Give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. Give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. Give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* Birthdays
* Anniversaries
* Arrangements she makes      

 

 &    

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:    
 
1. Leave him alone

 

I.T wedding Invitation

 

JOB APPLICATION

 

FUNNY JOB APPLICATION

 

.

__,_._,___

HR in HELL!!!

One day while walking down the street a highly successful
Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman

"Sorry, we have rules..."

And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner.

She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind
of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"

The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...
...
...
...
...
...
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
....
"Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee"

What They Said . . . And What We Did

        According to the story, after every Quantas Airlines flight the pilots complete a 'gripe sheet' report, which conveys to the ground crew engineers any mechanical problems on the aircraft during the flight. The engineer reads the form, corrects the problem, and then writes details of action taken on the lower section of the form for the pilot to review before the next flight. It is clear from the examples below that ground crew engineers have a keen sense of humor - these are supposedly real extracts from gripe forms completed by pilots with the solution responses by the engineers. Incidentally, Quantas has the best safety record of all the world's major airlines.

(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)

1) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

2) Almost replaced left inside main tire.

1) Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

2) Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

1) Something loose in cockpit.

2) Something tightened in cockpit.

1) Dead bugs on windshield.

2) Live bugs on back-order.

1) Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

2) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

1) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

2) Evidence removed.

1) DME volume unbelievably loud.

2) DME volume set to more believable level.

1) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

2) That's what they're there for.

1) IFF inoperative.

2) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

1) Suspected crack in windshield.

2) Suspect you're right.

1) Number 3 engine missing.

2) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

1) Aircraft handles funny.

2) Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

1) Target radar hums.

2) Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

1) Mouse in cockpit.

2) Cat installed.

smile..........but its true!

God created the donkey

and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."
The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
.........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the dog



and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "
The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
" God granted his wish.
..........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God created the monkey



and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live
20 years. "
The monkey answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
.........................................................................................
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Finally God created man ...



and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."
Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only
20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused.
" God granted man's wish
........................................................................................
And since then, man lives
20 years as a man ,
marries and spends
30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house
and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old,
he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or
daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

Powered by ctrl C

Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad

Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !!
                        Naye equipments dekh....
                        Naye projects seekh.....
                        Fatafat datasheets kar......
                        Overtime kar after 6:00... like me....!
                        Do something gooood man !!

You          : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ..

Your Colleague: Impression!!! Appraisal !!!
                      Har appraisal main tu No 1!
                      Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks

You:                     Phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Sr. Engineer ban jaayega..Phir Lead Engineer !!!
                       Phir Senior Manager!! One day U will be a
                       Director of the Company man !!

You                     : Acchha to phir kya hoga...

Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega !
                       Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.

You                      : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????

"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao.
       Hard Work hai waste, trust only copy-paste "

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Driven by ctrl V

Bathroom closet

A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself

to write the word "toilet" in her letter.

After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.

"Does the camping ground have it's own B.C." is what she wrote.

Well, the camping ground owner wasn't a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.

Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.

I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.

As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember this is a very friendly community

letter and reply

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can`t think of anything I need. $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,

Your $on



The Reply:

Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,

Dad

khichidi

As u Remember about the comedy Programe... KHICHIDI .. here some covnersation between hands and praful.
 

d ECIDE
Hansa : Pra f ul 'Decide' matlab ?
Praful : 'Decide' Hansa ... vo Casettee player mein hum casettee nahi dalte usme hota hai na ... 'A side' -- 'B side' ... toa 'C-side' ... 'D- side' ---> 'Decide'


Mature
Hansa : Mature matlab ????
praful: jab apna mahesh...chori karte hue pakda gaya tha.. tab usne kya kaha tha ?????

hansa: usne kaha tha.. mujhe chodd do.. 'MAIN CHOR NAHI HOON'
main chor ....main chor....mature...acha acha....



alphabet
hansa: praful alphabet matlab


praful: alphabet hansa,local train mein safar karte hoye maasi jaise hi koi seat khali dekhti hai to wo apni beti alpha se kya kehti hai?


hansa: alpha beth seat pe,alpha beth,acha toh yeh alphabet




Asset
Hansa : Prafulll 'Asset' matlab ???
Praful : Asset Hansaaa ....

Jab hum gaadi mein jaate hai and jab gaadi signal par rukti hai .... taab vo bhikari log aa kar kya bolte hai ...
'Aee Seth... thoda paisa do naa' ... 'Eee Sethh ... ' ... Asset ..




Depend
Hansa : Yeh Depend kya hota hai Prafful??

Prafful : Depend Hansa... wo Swimming Pool mein ek taraf to paani kam gehra hota hai, aur dusri side zyada gehra... Deep-End.. Depend




TOURNAMENT
HANSA:- ae he he PRAFUL, TOURNAMENT MATLAB
PRAFUL:- TOURNAMENT HANSA!!! YE JO TUMNE JHUMKE PEHNE HAIN, GEHNE PEHNE HAIN INKO ENGLISH ME KYA KEHTE HAIN, BOLO BOLO!!
HANSA:- AAA HAN HAN TOURNAMENT, (HANSA KHUSH)

MELISA:-(CHIDH KAR)ARE USE TOURNAMENT NAHI ORNAMENT KEHTE HAIN
HANSA:- ARE KUCHH BHI MAT BOLLL
EK JHHUMKA -- ORNAMENT
DO JHHUMKE -- TWO ORNAMENT# #TOURNAMENT
AE PRAFUL!! YE MELISA KO BHI BABUJI KI TARAH KUCHH BHI NAHI ATAA





elastic
Hansa: Praful elastic matlab??
Praful: Elastic Hansa..
apni voh radha ben unki beti ila ...
usko jab fracture hua tha to voh kya leke chalti thi??
Hansa : Ila to...
Ila-stick leke ...
Ila-stick !! Ila-stick!!!

 

interview

Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, "What's the first thing you see when you look at me?" The guy says, "That's not too hard, you've got no ears." The interviewer says, "That's it, get out, you'll never be seen around here again." The second man takes his turn and is asked the same question. The applicant replies, "Uh, you've got no ears." The interviewer throws the guy out, cursing and yelling that he'll never get a job with his company. As he is leaving, the second guy warns the third guy, "Listen man, whatever you do, don't say he hasn't got any ears. He's so touchy with the ear thing." "Okay," said man #3 on his way into the office. Once inside he is told, "Name the first thing you notice when you look at me." The guy answers, "That's easy, you wear contacts." The interviewer was flabbergasted, "How on earth did you know that, son?" "What? Are you stupid? You can't wear glasses, you've got no ears!"

human race

A little girl asked her father: 'How did the human
Race appear?'
The father answered, 'God made Adam and Eve;
They had children; and so was all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl asked her mother the same
Question. The mother answered, 'Many years ago
There were monkeys from which the human race
Evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her father and said,
'Dad, how is it possible that you told me the human
Race was created by God, and Mom said they developed
From monkeys?'
The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple.
<I told you about my side of the family, and your mother
Told you about hers.

4-letter words

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.

 

"Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

 

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."

 

Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"

 

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed! They're just too awful!

You've got to come get me and take me home... please mama!"

 

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

 

Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, mama...words like dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

ha...ha...ha...

True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period.

How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."

Tech: "Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped. It's because I am.

Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

Caller: "It came with my computer, I don't know anything about a promotional.

It just has '4X' on it. “At this point the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because

he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM

drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!

Installing a Husband

 

 

INSTALLING A HUSBAND  Dear Tech Support,  Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as  Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as:  College Football 5.0,  NFL 3.0  and  Golf Clubs 4.1 Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.  What can I do?  Signed,  Desperate. DEAR DESPERATE,  First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.  Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.  If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.  However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1  Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.  Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)  In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Get a job 2.0 Cooking 3.0 and  Hot Lingerie 7.7 Good Luck Babe!  Tech Support

 

Three answers most scared by men - :) :)

 

1 . (Whatever)

Men: What should we have for dinner?
Women: Whatever..
Men: Why  dont we have  mexican ?
Women:  No not mexican ,  the last time i got pimples in my face
Men: Alright, why  dont we have Si Chuan cuisine
Women: Yesterday  we ate Si Chuan, today  too ?
Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood
Women: Seafood  is  not  good, I got diarrhea
Men: Then what  do  you suggest?
Women : Whatever..

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?
Women: Anything
Men: How about watching  a  movie?  Its been a long time
Women: Watching movie  is no t  good,  its a waste  of  time
Men: How about we  go for bowling,  or some exercises?
Women: Exercise  on such  a  hot day?  
Men: Then find a  cafe'  and have  a  drink
Women:  I am off caffeine
Men: Then what  do you suggest?
Women: Anything

3. (You decide)

Men: Then  do we just go home
Women: You decide
Men: Lets  take  the  bus, I will accompany you
Women: Bus is dirty and crowded.
Men: Ok we will take  a  Taxi
Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance
Men: Alright, then we  can walk.  We can enjoy the weather
Women:  I am hungry, can't walk ?
Men: Then what you suggest?
Women: You decide
Men: Let's have dinner first
Women: Whatever...
Men: Eat what?
Women: Anyting

(Look around... no one here, gonna kill her....)