ID ten T error

 

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

 

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

 

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'

 

Eric grinned... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?'

 

'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

 

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

 

 

Love VS Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.
Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

 

 

 

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.
Marriage is a take home packet.

 

 

 

Love is cuddling on a sofa.
Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

 

 

 

Love is talking about having children.
Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

 

 

 

Love is going to bed early.
Marriage is going to sleep early.

 

 

 

Love is a romantic drive.
Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac .

 

 

 

Love is losing your appetite.
Marriage is losing your figure.

 

 

 

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.
Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

 

 

 

Tv has no place in love.
Marriage is a fight for remote control.

 

 

 

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.
Marriage is "Don't you think you've had enough!".

 

 

 

Conclusion: "Love is blind, Marriage is an eye opener!"

 

penguin

A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman.
The policeman said, "Take that penguin to the zoo, now."

Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.

The policeman stops the guy and says, I told you yesterday to take the penguin to the Zoo, what on earth are you doing with the penguin in your truck again?"

The guy says, "What is there to do? Yesterday I took him to the zoo and today I'm taking him to the movies."

UP! UP! UP!

Lovers of the English language might enjoy this......How do non-natives ever learn all the nuances of English???
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is "UP."
It's easy to understand UP , meaning toward the sky  or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP    and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP  to the secretary to write  a report?
We call UP our friends and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UPthe kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir up trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.  
And this up is confusing:
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP .
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.  We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of  UP , look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page  and can add UP to about thirty definitions
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP , you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP .. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP .  When it rains, it wets UP the earth. 
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP .
One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP , for now my time is UP , so .. ..
Time to shut UP .....!
Oh...one more thing:!
What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
U    P
Don't screw up .

Interesting equation

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

 

Pigs = eat + sleep

 

Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy

 

If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work

 

In other words,

 

Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work

 

************ **

 

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

 

Pigs = eat + sleep

 

Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money

 

If Men - earn money = Pigs

 

In other words,

 

Men that don't earn money = Pigs

 

 

 

************ **

 

Women = eat + sleep + spend

 

Pigs = eat + sleep

 

Hence, Women = Pigs + spend

 

If, Women - spend = Pigs

 

In other words,

 

Women that don't spend = Pigs

 

************ **

 

Summary:

 

Men earn money not to let women become pigs!

 

Women spend not to let men become pigs!

 

Men + Women = 2 Pigs

 

Wish all the pigs happy forever.

 

Anger & Madness

A little girl asked her father, "Dad, what is the

difference between anger and exasperation?"

"It's mostly a matter of degree." the dad replied.

"Let me show you what I mean".

With that the dad picked up the phone and dialled a

number at random. A man answered the phone and the

dad says, "Hello, is James there?"

The man on the other end answered, "I'm sorry, you

must have the wrong number. There's nobody here by

that name."

The father hangs up and immediately hits redial,

"Hello, is James there?" asks the father. "Now listen,

there's nobody here by that name so quit bothering

me!" The dad listens as the man slams the phone down.

You see, says the dad, he is starting to get angry.

He hits redial and a loud voice comes on the line.

"HELLO!" the man yells. "Yes, is James there?” asks

the father calmly. "Are you crazy?" the man screams,

" I told you James doesn't live here so don't call back

again!" then he slams the phone down again.

"Did you hear that?" the father asked the little girl,

"Now that is what anger sounds like." "Now you're

going to hear exasperation." He picked the phone up

and hit redial again. "HELLO!" boomed the voice on the

other end.

"Hello" the dad says politely, "This is James, have I

had any calls?"

 

three porrots...

A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present.

 

The next day he went to the pet shop and saw

 

three identical parrots in a cage.

 

 

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

 

 

 

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.

 

"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?

 

"He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.

 

"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

 

 

 

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

 

 

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000, but he not only knows Office 2000,

 

 

but is an expert computer programmer.

 

 

 

 

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.

 

The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."

 

Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs. 10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.

 

The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything.

 

 

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!

 

good morning father

> Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation.

>

> They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing

> anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane

> landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous

> shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

>

> The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist'

> garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the

> sunshine and the scenery when a 'drop dead gorgeous' blonde in a

> bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but

> stare.

>

> As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good Morning, Father ~

> Good Morning, Father,' nodding and addressing each of them

> individually, then she passed on by.

>

> They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were

> priests?

>

> So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more

> outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you

> even saw them!

>

> Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to

> enjoy the sunshine.

>

> After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different

> colored bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

> Again she nodded at each of them, said 'Good morning, Father ~ Good

> morning, Father,' and started to walk away.

>

> One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a

> minute, young lady.'

> 'Yes, Father?'

> 'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world

> do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

>

> She replied, 'Father, it's me, Sister

> Kathleen.'